Speaking up and reaching out can save a life. If you notice someone you care about struggling, your support could make all the difference. By starting the conversation and offering your help, you can be a source of hope and strength when they need it most. Together, we can prevent suicide and ensure no one faces their challenges alone.
Concerned About a Friend?
A good friend is one who pays attention. If you start to notice any of these warning signs, it’s important to check in on your friend and start the conversation.
Time to Start the Conversation
If in doubt, don’t wait. Ask the Question!
How to Approach
You want to ask the question when the person is alone in a private setting. Make sure that you two are not rushed and have plenty of time for you both to talk freely. Approach them with care and empathy, and start with gentle, non-judgmental questions:
Let them talk about their feelings as much or as little as they want, without interrupting or offering immediate solutions. Show that you’re there to support, not judge.
If you are worried they might be thinking about suicide, it’s okay to ask directly. Not only can this open up an honest dialogue, but it also helps you gauge what to do next and how best to help your friend.
If They Say Yes
Be present. Sometimes just being there – whether in person, through a text, or on the phone – is enough. Remain calm, and listen to what they have to say. Allow them to express their feelings without interruption.
Acknowledge and validate their pain without trying to fix it right away. Focus on understanding and empathizing. Thank them for trusting you, and reassure them that you are there for them. Now you can help them get the help they need.
Next Steps
The best thing you can do as a friend is to assist with getting additional help for your friend. Remind them that you are with them every step of the way, and they are not doing this alone.
If They Are in Immediate Danger
If your friend has a plan, means, or timeline for suicide, do not leave them alone. Stay with them in a safe place where they can’t access anything harmful.
Dial 911 or take them to the nearest emergency room immediately. If possible, enlist the help of a trusted adult who can assist you.
If your friend is willing, call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 to connect with a crisis counselor who can provide immediate support and guidance.
While waiting for help, remove any objects or substances that could be used for self-harm, and continue to offer reassurance. Let them know they’re not alone and that help is on the way.
If They Are Not in Immediate Danger
Encourage Professional Help
Come to the conversation prepared with resources so they know you care and that help is out there.
Introduce them to the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, and ask if they’d like to call it together.
988
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Explore Other Support Options
If they’re hesitant, suggest other resources like a trusted teacher, school counselor, or a youth pastor. It’s important to show that others care about their life too, so get others involved in their care. Ask your friend who else might help, like parents, siblings, or other friends.
Check-In Regularly
Keep in touch with them and continue to offer your support. Let them know you’re there for the long haul. Follow up with a visit, a phone call or a text, and in whatever way feels comfortable to you. Continue inviting them and reaching out – even if they don’t accept, it’s important to keep offering. Rejection probably isn’t personal.
Don’t give up. It’s okay if the first attempt didn’t go so well, or if they weren’t ready to talk. Stay available and keep checking in to show that you care.
Self Care for You
Helping a friend through a tough time can be emotionally challenging. It’s important to remember that your well-being matters too.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Supporting someone else can be emotionally draining. Acknowledge these feelings instead of pushing them aside. Just like your friend, you don’t have to go through this alone. Talk to someone you trust, like a family member, another friend, or a counselor, about what you’re going through. It’s also okay to recognize when something is beyond your ability to help. Involving professionals is often the best step you can take.
Maintain Healthy Boundaries
Set boundaries that protect your own mental and emotional health. It’s okay to say no if you’re feeling drained or to set limits on how much you can do. Helping a friend doesn’t mean you have to be available 24/7. You can take a step back, take a breather, and recharge when you need to – just communicate this to your friend and support system. This allows you to continue to help others in the long run.
You’re Making A Difference
Know that by being there for your friend, you’re making a positive impact. Your support can be a crucial lifeline, even if it’s hard at times.
