1. Limiting Contact with Family and Friends

Abusive partners may try to limit or cut off time a partner spends with friends and family. Abusive partners may try and make it so that they have their partner all to themselves. This can be dangerous as it can make it harder for someone to end an abusive relationship or reach out for help. This tactic may be gradual or done in a manner that keeps it from being clear to the abused partner what is happening. Healthy relationships are ones where both partners encourage each other to spend time with all of the people who are important to them, with or without their partner present.

2. Restricting and Monitoring Time Apart

Abusive partners may also try and limit a partner’s school activities like sports or drama as well as any other activities that do not involve them. The abusive partner may do this by getting their partner to drop certain activities, by getting them to not attend events with family or other friends, or by insisting that their partner be in constant contact with them the whole time. Healthy relationships are ones where both partners trust each other and encourage each other to participate in activities that make them happy, even without their partner present.

3. Controlling How their Partner Looks

Abusive partners may try and control how a partner looks in public, in private, or both. This may include what clothes or makeup their partner wears or doesn’t wear, what their partner eats or doesn’t eat, what exercises their partner does or doesn’t do, or any other physical aspect of their partner’s body.

4. Constantly Criticizing their Partner

Abusive partners may constantly criticize or belittle their partner or the thoughts, ideas, and beliefs that are important to their partner. This criticism is often aimed at lowering their partner’s self-esteem. While challenging conversations can be important, those conversations should be respectful in nature. Both people in a relationship should have their values, ideas, beliefs, and feelings respected by the other partner.

5. Not Respecting Boundaries

Healthy relationships are ones in which both partners respect each other's boundaries and value consent. This includes getting consent before any kind of physical contact or affection, before touching a partner’s belongings, before looking at a partner’s phone, before entering a partner’s personal space, before sharing stories or pictures that include a partner, and before violating any other physical or emotional boundaries a partner may have. It also means respecting a partner’s rights to day and making sure that partner knows it is safe for them to say no.

Categories: Be A Friend Resources