It can be scary confronting a loved one and saying “are you thinking about killing yourself?” But in fact, its essential to knowing what to do next. By being direct you are finding out what their intent is and giving them an opportunity to have an open and honest conversation.

If they answer with yes it is important to respond in a caring way and connect them with resources.

Here are some tips on how to respond to someone who says they are suicidal:

• Make observations
• Don’t state your opinion
• Ask open ended questions
• Paraphrase what they share with you
• Validate their feelings

Now its time to connect them with mental health services…

Sometime people are scared to take the next step by themselves. Once you get them connected with resources it is important to let them know they aren’t alone.

• Be their advocate
• Normalize the experience
• Emphasize the long-term benefits
• Let them make decisions about what services they want to seek
• Applaud their courage
• Offer to go with them

Meet Joe…

Joe has been distant lately. His friends noticed he hasn’t been showing up to their game nights and is sharing some depression songs on Instagram. His friend Brian is concerned about him and decided to approach him…

Brian: Hey man I missed you at our game night. What have you been up to?

Joe: I’ve been busy with work.

Brian: How is the job?

Joe: I thought it would be cool, but trying to juggle it with school is a lot. I am always tired and just want to relax.

Brian: So there’s a lot of stressful stuff happening.

Joe: Yeah. I feel like I have no say in my schedule. I can get my chores done at home, and I just cant focus at school. I feel like my boss, my parents, my teachers, everyone is trying to micro manage me and keeps piling things on.

Brian: I feel the same way sometimes. It’s really tough to deal with what is outside of our control. I totally get why you haven’t been up to going out lately.

Joe: I just want a break from everything.

Brian: It sounds like you’re having a tough time. I want to be there for you whatever way you need. So I want to ask you, have you had thoughts of suicide?

Categories: Be A Friend Resources